It's in the Cards, Today

I flip the cards of my life over

Laying them down side by side by side

Analyze and decipher

I am my own shaman glossing over the bones

What will my tomorrow be and what does my future hold?

What can be done about it and how can I change it?

I am so good at imagining my future and changing my todays for it

Sacrificing what experiences I have now

Sometimes destroying myself today so I can live tomorrow

Only to die again tomorrow when it becomes today

I plan my todays for my tomorrows that have yet come into being

I leave the cards of my yesterdays face down

Down down down in the ground

Or untouched on the table that beckons me to look

“Flip me over and take a good look!” they say

But I’ve seen them before and would rather look

Look not in the past because it haunts me so

As lions lay in the grass waiting for the beast

I chew the grass and move on slowly

Yet they have been tracking me from the dawn

I plan my todays ignorant of my yesterdays that have already spoken their voice

I sit glancing at these cards

Heart beating…racing…slow…steady

Can I flip over the yesterdays and give them the space to speak?

Speak and be heard

Ingested, digested, processed

Nutrition into my body

That the roots would grow deep

And my leaves would flourish in the rays of the sun

That the lions would sink their teeth into me

And liberate me from being prey

To be one with life and death

Then maybe I would live today

Connected so my tomorrows will come into being

And my sacrifice will nourish the earth

And the shaman can sleep

And my soul will find peace

Today I plan my todays
Listening to my yesterdays today
To have better dreams for tomorrow
Today