Running

As I ran along the water on Alki earlier today - well, actually yesterday as it is 2am as I'm writing this - I realized that it took a lot of changes in my story/life before I would've ever decided to do something like driving to West Seattle for a 5 mile run. Ask me 3 years ago if I'd ever think I'd be able to run 5 miles or complete the 2010 Seattle half-marathon and I would've told you "n" "o." As a kid I would wheeze after doing anything that got my heart rate up for more than a few minutes. And let me tell you, if breathing ain't fun after letting yourself go on the playground, then running ain't or won't ever be fun...or so I thought. Even when I felt like those symptoms went away as I got older, running just didn't appeal to me. Why put your body under unnecessary strain? But after a series of huge and unexpected life changes I found myself regularly walking around Seward park to find peace. Those walks soon became runs. Running began to feel like freedom. The shackles on my lungs, my body, my confidence, my capacity, my identity began to loosen. Then before I knew it I was looking forward to the feeling of running in the rain for miles, letting God drench my body and wash my soul. So as I ran Alki earlier, I thought, "It's interesting how so much had to happen for me to reach this place where I can choose to run like this. Or maybe it was my running that chose me...that changed my life." Maybe sometimes we have something very deep down in us, residing in our unconsciousness, something that we barely acknowledge, but it is like the core to our identity and fire to our soul that quietly guides us in our everyday interactions. Then maybe eventually that deep undercurrent manifests itself and our lives are changed so that this truth can thrive. I'm not saying that my deep undercurrent was a passion for running. I think running is a way I tap into my spirit - a spirit that can't sit still, that needs air, that needs to move and express itself. Mountains in my life had to move before that undercurrent could flow. And I believe, I'm loving that part of myself more and more now a days. Because I love this part of me more, I run. And I'm realizing how much it took for me to get to this point. Thank you God for bringing to surface the things that dwell deep inside and yearn to express themselves.


Run

The path I tread I thought I chose
But as time passes
I wonder if the path chose me
Because I feel so free on it
Taking in deep breaths and feeling
My blood pumps through my veins like wild rapids flowing
The waters coming from the snow caped mountains
Breaking through stone and wood and moss
Breaking through doubt and resistance and fear
Raging at the bottom with wildness and passion
Freedom
As my feet race
As my legs race
My heart
It races
Have you chosen me?
Because I feel so free
I run